Dear Garrett..

September 26, 2012

Dear Mom, Soon you will meet Michelle. Michelle and her husband have been friends of mine for several years. Michelle is a school teacher with a Master’s Degree in Education. I have asked Michelle to visit with you weekly for a while and write down the stories you tell her.Your stories are important to your family and maybe to some people outside of your family too. I’ve heard it said that “We read to know we’re not alone”. In addition to your family, I’m sure others can enjoy, learn and benefit from reading your stories.Stories of parents are particularly important to the children about their parents. You have seven children and we would like to hear your stories and have them to treasure for many years to come so please enjoy telling them to Michelle for us to keep.When anyone decides to tell their life’s stories, decisions are made on what to tell and how to tell it. Some things may be too uncomfortable to tell which can be diagnostic of what most needs telling if healing is to ever be accomplished in a writers or readers life. When I read about mistakes other people have made, it can actually make me feel better about myself which has been an objective in many of the stories I have told my son. Stories of success inspire. How Helen Keller made it through her circumstances has always greatly inspired and encouraged me.Whatever you decide to share in your stories, we will be delighted to read and cherish. Below are some ideas that I like to consider when I do my writing which may be helpful in deciding what to tell.Dealing with the past is always a factor in telling one’s story but the past is where all true stories come from. There are good reasons to record our stories. An author once wrote a book entitled, “Looking back to see ahead”. Writing and reading stories is therapeutic. A wise person once said, “Your function with your past is not to forget it but rather to see it differently.” Some of our stories can be difficult to tell because of their circumstances; others can be more fun to share. When we can look at our past from a more mature and wiser view point than when we were younger while the stories were actually occurring, the malignant feelings of what we experienced can resolve and actually transform from negative to positive. It can be seen as a form of forgiveness for both parents and their children as knowledge is a foundational component for forgiveness to occur.Looking at the past does hold great value. The past is what got us to where we are now, see that value? There’s a saying frequently used in twelve step programs that says, “We are as sick as our secrets.” There’s another one that says, “Deal with your past or it will deal with you.” This is not to suggest that we live in the past but rather recognize and understand that the great value in the past is that its experiences are what has us to where we are now. Knowing this, why would we choose to forget or ignore it? Learning is actually never complete without experience and our experiences make for great stories to begin and help fulfill the learning process of children as well as their parents.The Bible stories about remembering are helpful to understand. The Israelites were frequently reminded to remember their history, what God had done for them and how they made it through difficult circumstances. An obstacle to learning is forgetting. When we forget we are vulnerable to becoming “Duped” again into repeating the same mistake over and over again. Current day Israel knows this very well. They remember the holocaust which some people are actually trying to say never happened and manage their lives and country in a manner so as to prevent something like that from ever occurring again. Looking back and remembering where we’ve been and how we’ve got to where we are has great value. One of my business slogans is, “Lest we forget…” That idea came from the Old Testament Bible stories. “Lest we forget…” is the slogan I use for my Aviation Art Gallery which features primarily World War II Aviation Art. How we made it successfully through that difficult period in our history is truly amazing. Even though its memories are painful, it’s something well worth remembering.Some people believe that children choose their parents before they come to planet Earth; that certain parents are chosen to help accomplish certain learning objectives a child may want to accomplish in his or her upcoming lifetime. Some people believe it works the other way around too like when Jesus came to help us instead of us helping Him – the younger helping the elder. Whether we are older or younger we all actually help one another, correct? It’s also believed by some that we come here with a predetermined curriculum. I like the passage in Psalm 139 that says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book BEFORE one of them came to be.”However all this works, Mom, I’m glad you’re my Mom and I have immensely enjoyed and value my curriculum. My life has been exciting from my earliest recollections. I have you to thank for much of that excitement. I have never known what it feels like to be bored. One of the laws of learning is the Law of Intensity. The Law of Intensity states that the more interesting, exciting and dramatic an experience is the better the learning. The Law of Intensity was certainly at work in our family. Over the years people have repeatedly told me that a book should be written about it.Mom, I would like to post the stories that you are willing to share in the online book we are writing entitled, “Dear Garrett”. They can be read and preserved there for your family and others to enjoy. Please relax as you tell your stories, this is intended to be a healthy and enjoyable experience for you as well as for your readers. When you and Michelle visit, allow inspiration to guide you with which stories to tell and how to tell them. Tell one story at a time letting this be a manageable and pleasant endeavor. Remember the axioms like “Inch by inch it’s a cinch; by the yard it’s hard” and “Brick by brick, my citizens”.   In a while you can have some great stories recorded to share. Tell your stories one at a time and let’s see how much fun this will be. I’ll ask Michelle to write your stories in First Person Narrative form as you tell them to her. We will record your stories in the sequence you share them so don’t worry about any particular sequencing; simply follow your inspiration of what comes to mind to share when you and Michelle meet. The stories are already in you, let them come out naturally.We want to know what your life was like when you were young, before we were born to you and our dads. We know about many of your stories after we arrived here because we were with you through them. We have our way of seeing these stories already; we would now like to hear how you view these same experiences. Perhaps in the process of reading and rereading your stories, we’ll begin to see some things differently about your life and our lives as we catch glimpses of perspective of how things looked through your eyes as you were experiencing your stories. You do know that all of your children are at different levels of perception and acceptance of what we experienced as we grew up, correct? Sharing your stories can be helpful in clearing up any mistaken understandings and perceptions of what we experienced directly or indirectly together.While you were away for a while, I spent six years in a program called ALANON. My counselor at the VET Center in Austin was insistent that I join ALANON because of the intense depression and anxiety I was experiencing at the time and that I had actually been experiencing off and on for several years. About once a year ALANON members are asked to share their EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH and HOPE. When it’s your turn to speak, you first get to tell everyone how you grew up and lived and got to where you are now. When I told my story, I had a strong urge to cover my eyes when I recalled how life got for us after Dad passed from life here on Earth. The next seven years became some of the most difficult years of my life to date, especially the four we spent in East Palo Alto. Children learn to view life through the eyes of their caregivers and providers. The life we saw for several years following Dad’s passing was pretty scary. Now when I share stories from this period with some of my siblings we simply laugh about those times. So you can see looking back has actually helped us feel better about what we experienced. Though I can laugh about that, I cannot laugh about the loss of my crewmember in Vietnam and do not see how I ever could except maybe in Heaven someday when we get to visit again.My son, Garrett, seems to have enjoyed hearing my stories. As he was growing up, I was able to tell him stories of a more mature nature. When he was a young teen, he got to see where many of my stories actually took place when we made a trip to Michigan. I told him my fun stories as well as my more difficult stories to share. I wanted to help my son to learn to feel good about himself when he makes mistakes by hearing about mistakes I had made and how I handled them. It’s that “We read to know were not alone” idea.You are 88 years old now, Mom. You have a lot of great stories to share. We are eager to read them. Have fun sharing them with Michelle.Love, Mark

New Friends — Diane and Russ April 14, 2013Dear Glendora (Mom),You have a new friend — her name is Diane. I have a new friend too, Russ, Diane’s husband. They have been together for forty-four years in many places and now live in Texas. Aren’t we the lucky ones!Russ and I share the common interest of Aviation Art. Russ is an author too – has written and published four books. He gave me one of them today entitled, “Wings of World War II”. His first book is, “Come Build My Church” published in 1966. Russ graduated from Notre Dame with a Masters in Communications. Diane is a retired elementary school teacher. They are both excited to know you.Diane will be visiting you from time to time. Your time with her will be very special and important. You can tell Diane about yourself and she and Russ will write what you tell to Diane. Russ will write your stories for publishing on DearGarrett.com for you, your family and friends to enjoy. We are excited to hear your stories!Love always, Mark.[endsection] [section=April 19, 2013 – Visit with Diane]April 19, 2013 – Visit with DianeDear Glendora, April 19, 2013 – Visit with DianeAs a Faith Caregiver, I was asked to call on Glendora. Visiting with this lovely lady is an enjoyable experience since Glendora has had many memorable life stories. Her son, Mark, has asked me to write these up. Here is an account of the story she related to me on my last visit. E Please note that some of this material is not in sequential order. This account is in Glendora’s words.Life in Michigan was tangled up in with a church – Faith Missionary Church. My husband and I had quite a party life for awhile and then we decided we didn’t want that life any more so we went back together to church as a family. When the Lord came into my life – when I accepted Christ – I became more and more a spiritual person and wanted to attend prayer meetings. I became very wrapped up in serving at church – teaching and bible teaching – and being in church for prayer meetings. Sometimes I was in church two and three times a day. Before hand, I had never been so involved in any church functions. I would go to church on a Sunday – listen to the sermon — and then go home. Suddenly the church became my whole life. I had never envisioned this kind of life for myself.When I first accepted Christ, I was attending Grace Episcopal Church with my husband. I thought this church wasn’t spiritual enough so I transferred to Faith Missionary Church. I actually transferred there because of Sister Vy. She lived across the canal from me and would tell me I wasn’t getting fed at Grace. So — she invited me to Faith and I finally decided to take her up on the offer. At first, I wasn’t sure of this church because of its doctrine. It was a very friendly church but I back off when people get too close. I wondered why they shook hands all the time. This was the first time I saw outward emotions at a church. Soon I caught on to what they were saying and doing at this Pentecostal church and decided to join it. I tried to get my husband to go there but he didn’t want to. The children went with me to Faith. I don’t think my husband was too happy with my decision but he wanted to keep the peace. I spent a lot of time at this church because I thought I needed it. When I was at Grace, I told a lady about a dream I had had—- I confided in this lady! In my dream, I saw a big window and in the window was a beautiful veil — a sheer curtain — which was rent in two. In one side of the window was Jesus Christ. He had no features but I knew it was Christ. This was all ascending from Heaven and coming down, down, down. And I saw very plainly my back and the backs of all my children as we watched this vision. I had my arms around my children. It was beautiful!!!! It was such a peaceful dream and it was very meaningful to me. So when I went to church the following Sunday, I told this lady about my dream. And she said, “ I think the weather is getting us all”. I felt she didn’t understand me at all. I wanted someone to enjoy that with me and say “Oh, what a beautiful experience”. It was so wonderful that I will never forget it. I felt from that dream that I would be alright and my children would too. We were saved and in Christ. It was very real. That did it — I decided to leave Grace and join Faith. That was distressful for my husband who was now on the board at Grace. He was very active in church and community. He was a very smart man. He was disappointed since we had been together for awhile. We had now turned our lives around after partying a lot. We were now going into different direction. He started reading the Bible to the kids and I thought that was very special. So I kept on going to Faith which disappointed my husband. One time he said to me you are not going out tonight. Maybe he thought I was seeing someone else since I was gone so much to church. I just wanted nothing but church. He continued to say you are not going out as I have the keys to the car. I said – fine – but I was thinking to myself there is more than one way to get to church. So I got one of the Kid’s bikes and pedaled to the church in the cold and ice. I went to that prayer meeting!!! When I got back, we were not talking. My husband would still go out to the bar as he wasn’t ready to give that up. So he went to the bar across the lake called the Blue Boat. He would get in the boat to go there. At this time I was in AA and he knew that he knew he had to help me. When people came over, he would tell them to leave the liquor at home. I was the alcoholic – maybe he didn’t have that problem. He wasn’t addicted to liquor like I was. And he knew that!!! I knew that part of my life was passed as I had no desire for it any more. He didn’t want me to be tempted. He didn’t want me to fall. Even so, he continued going out to the Blue Boat. The part that bothered me was his heart condition and so I was more concerned about his health. One night he came home, and asked me if adultery can be forgiven. He already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from me. I said it was because it says in the Bible your sins are forgiven is you are sorry for them. So then he went to his bedroom and I went to mine. That is the way we lived. One day he said to me that you better get in there and do your business but I just laughed. We never got back together in that way. He said enough of this baloney — this is not going to work! Before this, we rented a place at a resort. We got a babysitter during this time. We actually thought we could patch up our marriage – bring back the old feelings we had for each other. We had three or four nights together. On Sunday we decided to go to church (this is before I had joined Faith). This led to my salvation which I didn’t know at that time. He wanted me to go to communion with him but I said I can’t. I didn’t have a hat on! I also thought if the Catholic Church knew that I was going to communion without a hat, I would be condemned! (she said with a chuckle). BUT I went up anyway with him and I believe that played a big part in our relationship. I think he thought this is a sign we would get back together. I believe that was a big step in mending our relationship. We would have the blessings of the church. I’ll get back to that point a little bit later down the road. We did get back together after that weekend but not as man and wife. Our desire for God is what brought us back together. He knew which way he was to go and I did, too. I was a little confused as far as denominations were concerned because I was so much into the Catholic religion as I had gone to Catholic schools. It was after this that we attended Faith. (again, the time sequences are not accurate). I tried to keep the doctrines of the Catholic church but I didn’t go back. Before that weekend, he did whatever he wanted to do and I did whatever I wanted to do. After the weekend at the resort, I totaling surrendered my life to Christ. This I felt after going up to the altar for communion. (at this point, Glendora is a bit confused as to when her feelings changed). At this time, I hadn’t completely turned my life around. I remembered getting into the car and driving for miles. I was running away!!! ( Again Glendora is confused to when this all happened). I don’t know what I had in mind at this time. But I drank and drank at a motel which was hundreds of miles away. I got pretty sick. I was lying in bed and woke up! I could hardly lift my arm or head as I was very weak from not eating anything. This not only weakened me physically but mentally as well. All this time I was fighting alcohol. I thought if I could only get a drink, I would feel better. As I was lying on my right side, I saw a bottle of whisky right by the toilet in the bathroom. So I slid out of bed and crawled to the bathroom. That must have been a scene!!! I thought my salvation was in that bottle of whisky. So I took quite a few swigs of the bottle and got back in bed. But I wasn’t feeling any better — I was feeling worse! As I said, I hadn’t eaten anything. I just walked out on my kids, my dad and Jack, my husband. My father was ill at this time. He was paralyzed and I was taking care of him. At this point in the motel, I was getting scared. I could tell my heart was not beating regularly. I had a very slow beat. This was pretty scary and I believed I was in trouble. So I reached for the phone and called Jack telling him to come and get me. (At this point, Glendora began crying). So my best girlfriend., Betty, and Jack drove in her car to where I was. They came to get me and take me back home. When I got into the car, I told Jack I wanted to go to that church we attended at the resort. He said he would take me there but he didn’t think it would do my any good. I wanted to talk to that pastor at this church. When we arrived, I went to the rectory and told the pastor I needed to talk to him because I needed help. Jack waited in the car and I think he fell asleep waiting for me. I told the pastor my whole life story which was bad. Afterwards, he told me that he wanted me to come into the church and kneel at the altar and talk to the Lord. I was thinking why do you want me to do that as I told you all of that already. Then I said I can’t go in there — I don’t have a hat. So he said put your hanky on your head. And that is what I did. I tried to talk to the Lord but I couldn’t until the pastor touched my shoulder. This I believe was the Lord using the pastor as his contact. When I felt his touch, I suddenly thought the Lord reaches us in many different ways. It felt like a thousand bricks had been removed from my head. I just relaxed and couldn’t believe what I was feeling. It was then that I could talk. I opened my mouth and said things I hadn’t said in the pastor’s office. I was saying how I hurt my mom and other people. It was a sincere confession. I told the pastor how badly I felt about the way I was living. He prayed over me. I stood up and said now what? He told me to trust in God, believe in him and go home and pray. He told me to continue to pray and release everything. I don’t remember the rest of what he said except that I would see God answering my prayer. And He surely did!!! So Jack and I drove all the way home and not a word was spoken. He didn’t ask me anything and I didn’t tell him anything. I just sat there but I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. I wondered how I would pick up my life after this but I did. It was just like a miracle. I talked to my dad and got things straightened out there. I don’t remember each step I took after that. When I went to bed, I felt better. I went to my room and Jack went to his. Nothing changed as far as that was concerned. “The next morning, I got up and went into the living room. Jack had probably gone to work.   I found a Bible on the table. I don’t know where it came from — maybe I picked it up in a motel room. I began to read it and suddenly, I felt a release . I just relaxed — my whole body relaxed! I knew I didn’t want a drink any more”. (At this point, I had to change tapes and missed her particular words in this part of the account.   This section is in my words as I recall what she told me). She knew that she wanted to have a Bible of her very own. Finding a lot of S & H Green stamps, she went to the store to redeem them for a Bible . Now I am continuing the account in her words. “I opened up the Bible and began reading and I understood what I read. It was just like a revelation of the word of God. I was filled with the word of God and love and peace. I can’t describe how I felt. But I felt like a whole new person. And I was a different person. I couldn’t put the Bible down as I just had to read it. Before this whenever I read the Bible, I couldn’t understand it. I need to tell you that before this time, Jack and I would sit together in the evening and listen to Billy Graham who was a new young preacher. Each morning, I would get up and feel like I was in a different world — I was different and my surroundings were different.   I was more accepting of my life and it wasn’t a drudgery. I realized what a beautiful home , children and husband I had.   I read the Bible and read the Bible more often.   We also were religiously listening to Billy Graham . We never missed listening to him. One night I said , “ Jack, what would you say if we could go to hear Billy Graham speak in person?” He said, “I wasn’t thinking so much of that but what if he could come here to speak?”   And guess what — he did come to Detroit, Michigan. So we packed up the kids with their snow boots and with snow up to our knees, we went to the church where he would be. We had to wait outside but that was alright. Then we went in to the wing of the church. We couldn’t get into the main part of the church because it was so packed. We listened to the sermon. And I remember this so plainly that I wished we could be up front so when they called people to the front, we could go up. But Billy Graham told the people in the wing that they could just raise their hand and that God would see you. God knows your heart.   And so Jack raised his hand! He wanted to accept Christ. I will never forget that. At this point, we still belonged to Grace.   I went to Faith later! This was a happy time in our lives — a peaceful time. But this is how I look at it.   The devil came in. Leaving my husband for Faith was influenced by women who were down on their husbands. They would tell me that I needed to come to their church, leave your husband   there and he will be alright. But that is not the way things go. God is not the author of confusion. So time went on. I did drop out of Grace and went over to Faith. In the meantime, Jack became more handicapped. He had a lot of pain. He tried to give up smoking. He tried so hard that one day he went out to chop wood and boom! He had his third heart attack. He had told me earlier that if he had another heart attack it would take him. Later,   I remember being in my bedroom and he called me. I don’t remember if he called me Glendora or Glenny. He asked me to come. I got up and went into his bedroom and I knew this didn’t look good. He told me he had a lot of pain. We had a doctor who lived down the street from us on Lake Shore Drive. I called him up and asked him if he would come.   We were friends with him. So he came. He wasn’t there three minutes when he said to make arrangements for your kids and take Jack to the hospital. So I called Sister Vy to take care of the kids. Jack didn’t want to wait for the ambulance.   He wanted me to take him then and there . We went to St. Josephs in Mt. Clemens. The doctor had called ahead and when we arrived they put Jack in an oxygen tank. I can remember that night. We had a friend who was a nurse and she came to the hospital and stayed near him.   I remember saying to him – Jack, you need to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior.   I knew he had raised his hand during Billy Graham’s revival, but that wasn’t enough for me. At this time, I knew the end was near. Jack was so weak but I heard him reply, “I have, I have.”   I knew this was his end but I had a hard time accepting it. When morning came, there were people at his bedside.   At the right hand side, there were two nuns. At the foot of the bed was his daughter, Janet, and a couple of our friends. I was at the left hand side with Brother Straight and his wife. All of a sudden, Jack sat up and looked around at everybody. He nodded at each person. It looked to me as if this was the Last Supper. The white bed sheet looked like a table spread out. I don’t remember if he said anything to me…I don’t know if that is true. He then laid back down. As he was dying, I began to sing in an unknown tongue. Pentecostal people do that. When I knew he was gone, I grabbed my things and went out into the hall. I guess I made a lot of noise as the nuns came out and told me to be quiet as there were other people in the hospital. I thought to myself I can’t stop crying.   But I was there when he passed away – I watched him. Before that, I watched my mom die. When I was taking care of her, I had to leave town where we lived. So I took a couple of the kids with me and left Jack with the other kids. I was in the bedroom with Mom when she told me she had a terrible ear ache.   So I went to the dresser to look at her prescriptions. All of a sudden, I heard a long sigh and I saw her stretched out her arms to heaven. She saw Jesus and then she was gone. I didn’t realize she was gone – I didn’t want to believe it. So I called the fire department thinking that they would give her oxygen. But she was gone!   I saw my mom die, and Jack die. Before Jack died, my dad was living with us. One day when Jack and I were in the front yard, I decided to check on Dad. I had a feeling something was wrong. I went into his bedroom and I found him drowning on his own fluid. I didn’t want to call Jack because he had already had a heart attack and I didn’t want him to experience another one.   So I began reading the 23rd Psalm to Dad as he was dying. I closed his eyelids and folded his hands before reading the psalm.   Dad and I were never close.   Then I went out to tell Jack that Dad was gone. When Mom died, I had to tell Dad that she was gone. That was very hard. So I was there when Mom died, Dad died and Jack died. And although I was divorced from my second husband, I was there at his bedside when he died. Not that that deserves a pat on the back! I had been told that he had lung cancer and would not survive.   His sister was there, too. She was crying and saying don’t go but he said to her to let him go. I told him it was alright. He died right then.   So I was there for four deaths and that was wonderful because they went in peace. Email from Mark, April 22, 2013 Dear Diane, I just read the writing re the April 19, 2013 visit with mom. It’s a beautiful writing — very well done. I learned some new things re mom which I appreciate knowing very much. I think she tells her story very well — and you write it very well. Thank you…Mark [endsection] [section=April 26, 2013 – Visit with Diane] Visit with Diane April 26, 2013 I left my life in Michigan because I was on a mission. In my mind, I thought that I could make a difference in society.   I believed that everyone did not hate black people.   I wanted to go to the South and visit churches. That is how I met Jimmy—- at his sister’s house in Seguin, Texas. I was there for a prayer meeting. I met Jimmy’s sister’s husband at a locker plant. I was there because I was buying a whole side of meat.   I was looking for meat to store in my freezer.   Back at the prayer meeting at the sister’s home, Jimmy came in, leaned up against the wall and listened to our meeting. He participated a little. He was “churched” yet how he could be churched and still be what he was, I don’t understand.   He was a very heavy drinker. Jimmy had a very strict father but his brothers and sister still smoked and drank behind the parent’s back. This was a Pentecostal church I was attending.   Anyhow, it was through my church involvement that I met Jimmy. We began dating but that was not known by most people. We were secretive because of the racial thing. We became more involved and decided to leave Texas. We left with my children, Jimmy’s sister and her husband and their children. We left Texas because we couldn’t get married there. We went to Jimmy’s brother’s house in San Francisco. While there, we discovered that California also had a problem with racial marriages. There was no law against it but socially it simply was not done. We left a trailer we had been living in as we rode up and down 109 looking for a place to live where we would be comfortable.   We were not use to such busy roads and found we couldn’t find where we had left the trailer we had been living in.   We then found a place in Palo Alto and that is where we settled. I made an agreement to sell the trailer and live in Palo Alto. We were married in a church in San Jose, California. Not long after that I became pregnant with Bernadine. She was born at the Sanford University Hospital. This was a miserable time because I was trying to make Jimmy stop drinking. He wasn’t about to stop drinking although he had promised me he would quit. When he drank, he would get very angry and threatening. Jimmy had been married before and was divorced.   There were children (a son and a daughter) from this marriage and I am still friendly with them. As you can see, my life has been pretty much like a zigzag! That is the best way to describe it! I knew what I was doing and I was confident in what I was doing. I thought I was doing the right thing but it never materialized into anything peaceful. It was hard on the children because Jimmy was very strict. That was the way he was raised. He was also battling the racial issue with them. I knew things would not be easy but I was so sure in what I believed in.   I believed that God is the creator of everybody —- black, Chinese, whoever they are! Miriam in the Bible married a black man.   She was cursed with a disease because of her criticism of Moses.   The whole story is in the Bible. I was very much in love with Jimmy and thought that love would prevail over everything. His people had warned him not to marry me but we still went ahead and got married. I thought love could conquer all, but it was a rough life! I fought his alcoholism all his life. Then Jennifer came along. She was born in Watsonville, California.   Jimmy’s drinking and threats broke up our marriage.   One time, I was sitting in the kitchen when he threw a dagger over my head. He did this just to show off.   That scared me but mostly made me mad. I would leave for a little while but then I would go back. I was fed up with myself for doing this. One time I left and went to Salem, Oregon with the kids. What does he do?   He finds me there. So I went back with him because he convinced me that he would be okay. I knew he believed in Jesus Christ. The scripture says by their fruits ye shall know them. He would swear up and down that he would be okay. He hugged the kids.   The poor kids went through so much with our breaking up and getting back together again.   He was also very jealous. You are wondering why I stayed with him. I am, too. I felt I needed to prove something that I believed. It all had to do with my belief and faith and what I believed in religion as far as God was concerned. I was self-righteous and wanted to be sure that he would be saved. I would be the instrument of his salvation. I was not willing to admit that at that time. He read the Bible and knew it very well.   His dad was a preacher.   You might say that Jimmy was a drinking Christian. Either his mother or his grandmother was a full blooded Indian.   I finally told him if he continued to drink, I would never come back. I was satisfied with that and the kids said it would happen again. I said no, he wouldn’t dare do it again. But I was terribly mistaken.   So one time we went up to Amarillo, Texas.   His uncle was going to counsel us. I said ok, I’ll give it one more chance. I was blind as a bat.   And so we stayed with his uncle at his house. But he started drinking again and stayed away for days. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. His uncle was not qualified to counsel.   I just wanted to hear someone say you still got a chance and you’ll win. So the children and I had to run again. I couldn’t believe he had done it again. He broke his promise to me. All the time the kids knew he wouldn’t do right. We went to live in my friend’s (Nadine) daughter’s low income apartment in Hereford, Texas. Check out affordable apartments in canary wharf too. Nadine told me I could live there.  I even worked there as a nurse in labor and delivery. In the meantime, we were playing hide and seek from Jimmy. One day at the apartment in comes J.W. Crocket. He had heard about me and my children and knew about the racial issue. He was a full-fledged 100% cowboy! In fact, a long, long distant relative of his was Davy Crocket. At this point only Jennifer and Bernadine were with me.   The other children were staying with relatives in California.   They did not go with Jimmy and me to Amarillo, either. I remember J.W. came into the apartment with his spurs clinging and with his big cowboy hat on. When I saw him, I thought — what a slouch!   He said to me, “Would you like to go to lunch?”   I was told that he was fast —like very fast with women.   I said no, I really didn’t want to go. I didn’t like him one bit. But the girls said why you don’t go, Mom. I thought, what is wrong with these gals. Are they crazy or what? So — well — he said come and I’ll bring you right back. And so I went!   We just went out and had lunch and came right back.   I think Bernadine was impressed because he was a cowboy and Jennifer probably was impressed, too. That was our first “date”.   He was my girlfriend’s friend.   He had a son and a daughter and his wife had recently died of cancer. J.W. taught Bernadine how to ride a horse. She was becoming a cowgirl – big time! Jennifer wasn’t so interested in that. J.W.’s favorite girl was Bernadine but he never treated one better than the other. It was just that Bernadine wanted to be taught and he was a good teacher. He taught her how to rope and other cowboy things. She could ride the horse without a saddle.   She became a wonderful rider. When I went to work, J.W. stayed with the children. We became close.   He also took the kids for hot dogs and root beer at the A&W. They thought that was great. They didn’t get along with their dad but they really loved J.W. He really cared about them. So I would go to work at the hospital and J.W. watched the girls. There were a lot of things that happened at that time. One of the bad things that happened was that Jimmy found out where we were.   It was a very dangerous situation. . It was uncanny that Jimmy could find us no matter where we were. One time the police called me and asked me if I was trying to cause a race riot. They said you better get yourself out of that apartment. J.W. and Jimmy had just missed seeing each other by just a hair. Neither the police nor I wanted them to meet. So J.W. and I decided we had to run away. We loaded up all we could into J.W.’s truck. That was a ride I will never forget.   We were always running from Jimmy.   At this time, J.W. and I got very serious and we decided we were going to get married. We rented a trailer in Schertz, Texas, which is a town by San Marcos. I was in the process of divorcing Jimmy. One day Jennifer said,”Mom, Mom, I saw Dad’s truck go by.” He found out where we were living. One night, Jimmy showed up outside the trailer. He stood outside and yelled, “Glen, come out of there.” I had to get out of the house. I walked out to him. I tried to calm him down. He had a revolver, but he did want to kill anybody or go to prison. I told him I would meet him at the Dairy Queen in the morning if he would just go. He decided to hit the road. The next day I did talk to Jimmy at the Dairy Queen.   (At this point Glendora is having a hard time piecing this altogether.) I think J.W. had left when Jimmy appeared.     Eventually, I moved to Mark’s house. He was married and had his own home.     I remember very vividly that Jimmy was hunting us down, both me and the girls.   J. W. knew I was having trouble hiding from Jimmy.   I told J.W. that I would meet him at Gunderland Park. I said Jimmy knew nothing about this park so we could meet there. J. W. and Jimmy were still in the picture.   It was a back and forth thing. It was crazy! One day, I was standing by the car outside Mark’s house. I was talking to Jimmy who had come by to see the girls. I looked up and saw J.W. by the street. Jimmy was drunk. He had stolen a truck. This doesn’t sound like the truth, but it is. The girls and Mark can also tell you about this. I ordered Jimmy to go into the house. I told him that J.W. was across the street and he had a rifle.   I said, “He has it pointed at you so get in the house”. The police came and arrested J.W. Would you believe it! That is what happened. Jimmy had ESP and was very sharp with a lot of things. How could he find out about all of this, but he did. At this point the story’s time line becomes a bit mixed up as she now relates an incident that occurred at Gunderland Park. J.W. and I were sitting at a picnic bench in the park and the girls were playing. Bernadine suddenly spotted Jimmy’s truck and saw that he was coming near them. He found us and I thought we were really in for it now. Jimmy was well known for carrying guns and hurting people. He parked the truck but left the door open. Bernadine tried to get into the truck to get his gun but Jimmy saw her and told her to get away from the truck.   Jimmy started walking back and forth in front of us. (She now said that this happened before the incident outside Mark’s house).   He was preaching as he walked. I thought this would be the end of us for sure. We couldn’t run!! Jimmy kept saying, “Isn’t that right?” And J.W. would say, “Yes, Sir.” That went on for quite a while. Then he said okay because his got satisfaction out of scaring all of us. Jimmy said, “Okay, now this is what we are going to do – we are going swimming in the park together.” I was sure he was going to drown us. He had a gun and he was mean and bad.   J.W., the girls and I in our truck followed Jimmy in his truck. So we went to the creek to go swimming. There was a big tree there with a rope hanging on it. The girls would swing out on the rope and drop into the creek to go swimming. Jimmy does his fancy swan dive (showing off) into the creek.   I don’t know who went into the water first — J.W. or Jimmy, but we were all in the water. Nobody was getting killed.   The girls played in the water.   We went into the water with our clothes on. When we got out, Jimmy was satisfied.   The intensity was eased. We all talked.   The girls just played around. Jimmy said he was going to go but he just wanted us to know that he needed to see his girls. Now for the story about Bernadine.   She benefited a lot from J. W. When he died, he left her his boots, his spurs, and his pants but later they disappeared.   Bernadine’s heart was hurt and upset when she found them gone. She knew how J.W. helped her with her sheep (Blue Boy) and helped Jennifer as well, but Jennifer didn’t have a similar interest like Bernadine did. That sheep was almost human. When we lived in the trailer, Jennifer, Bernadine and Blue Boy would play hide and seek. He would get down on his knees looking for them. If you left the door open, he would jump on the bed and you would have to drag him out. Bernadine loved that sheep so much but Jennifer would just tolerate him. Bernadine won a Grand Championship for horseback riding but only received about $100.   Other kids would win $10,000 – $20,000 but not Bernadine because she was black. Whoever heard of a black person in FFA (Future Farmers of America) winning Grand Championship? Even the judge knew that she was the best and had the best sheep, too. He respected that. He wasn’t well liked after that because he voted for Bernadine. With the money she won, she bought a horse. Bernadine’s dedication to her passion for horses and her strategic investment in the horse walker installation paid off as her horses’ performance and well-being noticeably improved. Dee was the horse’s name, but that horse threw me. I got on Dee, but I didn’t know there was a stud locked up in the pen. Dee got up on his hind legs, kicking! I fell off and broke my pelvis in two places. That landed me in the hospital. It was very painful.  Bernadine raised another horse named Sport Page. That horse took her for a ride — dragging her all over. She wouldn’t give up. She loved horses!   Jennifer didn’t like the horses because of the stuff that would come out of their noses when they shook their heads. [endsection] [section=May 1, 2013 Visit with Diane] Visit with Diane — May 1, 2013  Some additional thoughts from Glendora regarding Louisiana and J. W. When I left Michigan, my children and Brother Straight went with me.   I had given Faith Church quite a bit of money after my husband passed away. I believe Brother Straight thought I had money and so he accompanied me to Louisiana. We stayed in a trailer at the Lucky Fishing Camp near Ringold — a real small town. It was not a good situation because Brother Straight couldn’t stand the kids and they didn’t like him, either.   He just followed me around.   I tried to get him to leave twice. Finally, I took him to the airport so he could fly back to Michigan. I understand that when he got there, his wife had him arrested and he was put in jail. I think he left his wife a couple of times and she finally had had it. We stayed in Louisiana for a year and a half. Thinking of J.W., her cowboy, Glendora added to her story about him: When Jimmy passed away, I took a couple of months before I called J.W.   When I did phone him, I asked him, “Do you have someone else?” And he replied, “There wouldn’t be anyone else after you.”   He also told me that he didn’t drink anymore and that he was going to church.   All this was told to me as he was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance.   A horse had fallen back on top of him and ruptured his spleen.   He thought he would be okay and would call me from the hospital.   But he never called!   Sometime later, I called his brother in New Mexico only to find out that J.W. never recovered. I was in shock over his death! I went on with my life but what happened afterward is a blank to me right now.   I know I stayed at Mark’s home.   The girls graduated from high school and I continued to work as a nurse. Email from Mark, May 1, 2013 Dear Diane, Glendora said she enjoyed your visit with her today.  She said it helped her a lot.  She said that your presence has a very calming effect on her.  She also said that you are very wise — and the best friend she has had in a long time. The part about Reverend Straight is good to hear about.  He was trespassing on our family — it made me most uncomfortable — even sick to my stomach.  Mom let him trespass — she didn’t know any better. I picked up a special gift for you and Russ today — will get it to you soon. Thank you…Mark [endsection] [section=May 24, 2013 – Visit with Diane] May 24, 2013 — visit with Diane Glendora reveals more thoughts on her life in Ringgold and Seguin: During my marriage to Jack, he did ‘his things’ and I did ‘my things’. While we lived in Detroit, I met Bill. While we saw each other in Detroit, he lived in Mount Clemens.   One day, Jack decided we needed to move to Mount Clemens. He didn’t know about Bill or that he lived there. Meanwhile, I continued to see Bill from time to time. At this time, Jack hired Louise, a domestic helper. I liked her so much that I decided that I needed to take her to my church, Faith. Although she was black, I thought everyone would welcome her. I believed this was an opportunity for me to address the racial injustice that was widespread. As it turned out, Louise and I ended up sitting in the pew by ourselves. That raised a red flag! Louise knew that would happen and was reluctant to attend my church but I thought my ‘Faith’ family would accept her. I introduced Louise to Sister Straight whose face showed disapproval. I was so disappointed at her reaction. I hated that people wouldn’t accept Black people. Brother Straight wasn’t like that. I ended up apologizing to Louise for the cool reception. After Jack passed away, I decided it was time to leave Mount Clemens and Bill. I really needed to get away from Bill! I had heard about Martin Luther King and what he was doing so I wanted to go south and help with his crusade. I bought a large trailer but I needed help driving it down south.   Brother Straight offered his help so he, my kids and I drove to Ringgold, Louisiana. It was there that Brother Straight and I had a disagreement and he left. However, he did come back. In the end he left for good taking with him some of my beautiful jewelry. While at the Lucky Fishing Camp, I went to the diary farm nearby.   Mark got a job there learning how to milk cows. He worked with Willy, a black man, who was a hired hand.   I hoped to buy a farm some day so this was a good way for Mark to learn about cows.   Eventually, I did buy a 122 acre ranch in Seguin, Texas.   There Paul could have a horse, while Harvey could raise a hog, Mark wanted a calf and Laura a cat.  In order for Mark to work at the diary farm, I would drive him there.   One time, Willy told me he had something to say to me.   He told me he was in love with me. Willy disliked his wife and the life he had. He pictured himself as a slave. In our desperation, we found each other. Willy asked me to take him away from this place and I felt that I needed to help him. In the middle of the night, I picked him up and took him to his mother’s home. His mother was afraid for him because she knew we were romantically involved and society would not accept that.   I found a man in town who would help me get my trailer out of the Lucky Fishing Camp and hook it up to my car.   With Willy, the kids and I we drove away from Louisiana and finally found that ranch in Seguin. Willy was such a happy man there. He even asked me to teach him to read the Bible. We settled into our life.   The children attended the local school.   I soon became pregnant.   When the people at the school found out about that, they threatened to take the children away from me. I told Willy he had to leave but he didn’t want to go, but eventually he did leave so I could keep my children. When the baby was born, the doctor or his wife found a place for the children to stay. Everyone soon found out that this was a black baby. I held my precious baby after she was born.   She was a beautiful girl. Willy heard about our baby and wanted to come back but I knew he couldn’t do that.   I didn’t want to lose my children. Mr. Sagabeil, an extremely wealthy man in town, told me my baby would not leave the hospital. About 12 hours later, I was told my baby had died. I didn’t want to believe that was true. I thought maybe they took her to be adopted. Then I began to think someone smothered her! It was hard for me to tell Willy she had died.   Many years later Rosie, my black friend who would introduce me to Jimmy, told Mark that the doctor killed the baby. I don’t know what to think about this. My beautiful daughter whom I was going to call Zion was gone!   I will see her in Heaven some day.   Some years later, Mark went to the courthouse and got Zion’s death certificate. Sometime after this tragedy, Carl, a brother of Mr. Sagabeil, started following me every day. One time he said to me, “You know how Lincoln died?” One night, Carl came to the trailer wanting to talk to me. I told him if God lets you through my gate, I’ll talk to you. He did and we talked.   He said, “Let’s go for a ride”. I wasn’t going to let him scare me so I went for that ride. I was told to sit in the back seat and all the time he was driving, I talked about the Holy Scriptures. I told him he had no right to act the way he was. He then allowed me to sit in the front seat. At one point, he became so agitated that he put his hands around my neck in a strangle hold.   I just kept on reciting the Bible and not moving. He soon realized that I was not afraid of him.   He took his hands away and asked me where he could drop me off. I wanted to go to Rosie’s house so he drove me there. I knew Rosie from the church I attended. The next day, Carl called and asked if he could take me to lunch, but I refused and with good reason! Note from Mark May 27, 2013 Dear Diane, I just read this latest writing of mom’s story.  There are new things coming out with each writing.  Most surprising to me in this writing is how my siblings and I were left to care for ourselves while mom was busy “helping” all these other people in her life.  Reflecting back on it all, I see that we (us kids) simply stayed busy taking care of the business of school, our households and farm and running our daily lives.  It’s easy to see where much of mom’s regret comes from — I feel shaken as I read what’s been written here. I will send this writing to my siblings and let them know that we would enjoy hearing what they were feeling and experiencing during these times.  I am glad that mom has extended this invitation to my siblings and I to participate in the writing of her story by providing our view of what life was like when we were children.  I will ask them to let me post what they send along with mom’s stories. Through these years with mom, the time living in East Palo Alto was the most difficult for me.  We resided there for three years living every day in a state of emergency and chaos.  There was always something very wrong going on, always trouble.  Reflecting back on life there with mom and our step dad, Jimmie, guiding our family through daily life is now more than my mind can seem to comprehend and process — makes me dizzy as I read what’s being written. I hope mom will spend some time telling you about life in East Palo Alto.  There was danger continually in our home and the neighborhood and school felt dangerous to me also.  East Palo Alto was eventually declared to be the “Murder Capitol of the United States.”  In one year, there were 42 homicides within a 2 square mile area where we lived and attended school. Diane, thank you for working on this instrument of healing.  We will see in time how these writings will effect said healing for mom and our family.  I like the thought that states, “Your function with your past is not to forget it — but rather see it differently.”  I also like the one that says, “When I am healed, I am not healed alone.”    More on this later on this. BTW, it is my recollection that Laura had the chickens — not just a cat.  We had a good many chickens on the farm in Seguin.  We also had a good many snakes too.  Laura and Harvey both got very close to a couple of the snakes which they may tell us about soon. Thank you, Diane…Mark [endsection] [section=June 12, 2013 – Visit with Diane] Visit with Diane, June 12, 2013 Glendora’s story: Additional thoughts about Jimmy – visit with Diane June 12, 2013 Jimmy was brought up by a very strict father who was a Pentecostal minister. I believe the father was cruel to all his kids. He had a lot of ‘starch’ but no emotions. He presented himself as very holy but the ‘human nature’ came out. Jimmy got into drinking heavily and had a hard time holding down jobs. He would get a good job and then in a very short period of time, he would lose it. He just couldn’t hold onto a job for a long time. When we lived in East Palo Alto which was mainly a ‘black’ city, Jimmy worked with a ‘framed board with lights’. I believe he made parts that went into a computer.   He did work there for a couple of years.   We lived in a rented home where the majority of the neighborhood was ‘black’. The kids had black and white friends. Jimmy, in the meantime, kept drinking. He was a binge drinker! He just couldn’t have one drink. One day when I came home, I noticed that Jimmy had been drinking very heavily. He soon became very ‘ugly’. I just had to get away from him but I thought that this would be the last time I’d be driven from my home. So I bought a rifle at a ‘hock’ shop.   I sneaked into the back door with the rifle and pointed it at Jimmy. I told him I wanted him to leave and not chase me away again.   Jimmy put up his hand and said, “Don’t shoot, Glendora.” At that point, Harvey came into the room and put his hand on the barrel of the rifle and said, “Don’t do that.” This was the second time that Harvey protected Jimmy even though he hated Jimmy more than the other kids.   In fact, I believe all the kids disliked Jimmy.   In the meantime, one of the kids ran out and called the police. They came and they made Jimmy leave. Mark had a smart mouth with Jimmy.   When Mark needed to get his driver’s license, Jimmy took him in a high van which was too big for Mark. Poor Mark had to practically lie down to reach the pedals. It was quite a scene that Mark could tell better because he tells it in such a funny way. One time when Mark came home from college, Jimmy was in one of his rages and quite mad at Jeff who was always getting into mischief.   However, on this particular day, Jeff sassed Jimmy who then went after him. They ran out to the front porch where Mark jumped Jimmy who was a big 6’4” man with huge hands. Mark wasn’t going to let Jimmy hurt Jeff! They smashed into the railing breaking it.   Mark continued to pound Jimmy’s face while he lay on the ground. Jimmy’s face was covered with blood.  But Harvey came to the rescue! He saved Jimmy from Mark’s fists. In the meantime, someone called the police! When the policeman asked Jimmy who hit him, Jimmy denied anyone had done it. When he was escorted out of our rented home by the police, he lived in a hotel. At one point, he became so enraged there that he tore the room apart.   This time the police institutionalized him and he was placed in a straight jacket. He stayed there for some time. While he was there, he was so drugged that he could hardly walk. I truly felt sorry for him. Jimmy was always in a rage or angry about something. His attitude seemed to be “Don’t do what I would do, but what I say”. I believe it was mostly brought on by the prejudice he felt from other people. One day someone yelled at him and said, ”Hey, Nigger, get out of here.” That would make most blacks mad. In Seguin, Texas, he was picked up for being drunk and put in jail until he could sober up. The police knew him – in fact, they knew the whole Luckey family. Jimmy would fight at the drop of a hat. Many times, his father would whip him whenever he got into trouble. (Laura and the other children could add more to these stories). After the divorce from Jimmy, I heard he had lung cancer. At the time, I was working and seeing J.W. I told J.W. not to call anymore because I was going back to help Jimmy. I let Jimmy stay in my home. Jennifer and Bernadine were with me.   This was a pretty stressful time. One day he asked me to go to bed with him one more time, but I said no. He asked so humbly and not demanding this request of me. (I just thought of that a couple of days ago and I feel quite sad that I turned him down). Jimmy just couldn’t get along with anyone.   His relationships were a mess. A few days after that incident, I called Jimmy’s sister asking for help. His sisters, Ethel and Dorothy, came to take him back to a hospital in Seguin. He never left that hospital!!! Rosie, his other sister, came to see him. She knelt at the foot of his bed and cried. She asked him not to leave them. I patted him on the hand and told him not to be afraid. He died quietly. I just cried and cried which upset the family. I just left the room to cry alone. I can remember this very vividly! Jimmy did read the Bible and knew scripture. His grandmother was Cherokee, so Jimmy did have Indian blood.   I will always remember him even though he liked to drink too much and would fight a lot especially in bars. May his soul rest in peace. Email from Mark, June 20, 2013 Dear Mom, Bernadine texted me today regarding a favorite film.  I watched the film this evening.  As Bernadine promised, it is truly a great film. Bernadine told me that the film reminded her of the direction our family took following our dad’s passing in 1960.  As in the film, the mom had left the former family residence and set out to find another place to live.  The mom, played be Kathy Bates was plenty stout hearted.  The oldest son, Shane, narrates through the film.  He declares that the family never lacked for excitement.  Yes, life was exciting in the story but the excitement seemed minor compared to the excitement we experienced when we left our home in Michigan as can be seen in reading through your story entitled, “Dear Glendora”. The film is entitled, “A Home of Our Own”.  I watched it tonight on NETFLIX.  Here is a brief description of the film. “The story is located in Los Angeles in the sixties. An energetic widow, Frances Lacey, with her six children try to make a dream of theirs come true: to have a home of their own. Therefore they leave Los Angeles and head for the countryside, while facing all kinds of difficulties during their journey.”  Mom, tonight you are in the Seton Hospital in Austin, Texas.  You had surgery yesterday by Dr. Fox.  The surgery seems to have been successful but your already low vision has diminished even more.  Two weeks ago you could slowly make out words on my Kindle — today you could not.  None the less mom you remain positive and upbeat when we speak.  You seem as zealous about life today as you ever have.  The strength of your spirit is truly amazing, mom. Love always from all your family…Mark Email from Mark, June 21, 2013 Dear Mom (Glendora), I saw you at the hospital a little while ago.  You were still hurting from your surgery.  The nurse gave you pain medicine while I was there.  It began to help some.  When I put my hand on your head, you said it helped a lot. We talked while we were there.  Sally came with me — I knew you would enjoy her laughter. We had a fun talk and you did quite a bit even though you were hurting.  We talked about the day old bread stores we used to visit.  You said it was Christmas bread because of the green and white colors it had.  The green and white on the bread was actually mold.  The remembrances of those lean times in California obviously amused you tonight as they do my siblings and I whenever we talk about them.  I told you the moldy donuts in our school lunches were especially fun to deal with before eating.  You laughed some more. I placed my hand on your head again and prayed for you before I left.  I told God that if you were ready to leave this Earth to go elsewhere with Him it would be okay.  Looking at your frail and heavily worn body made it possible for me to pray this prayer.  Knowing your Spirit resides in said body for now — and seeing the discomfort you are experiencing made me ready to see you soar into the place we all go to when we leave here fresh, alive and anew.  I know that when you do leave Earth you will be excited, relieved and happy beyond imagining.  I have read that leaving our body is like taking off a tight fitting shoe — how good does that feel? In my prayer with you this evening, I commended you into the care of God, His angels and heavenly host.  Leaving you alone was not an easy this evening.  I was able to do so though by entrusting the great Seton nurses with your care.  And I told you to pray the Lord’s Prayer and the twenty-third psalm too which I knew would bring you comfort as your sojourn here on Earth nears its closing.  I kissed you forehead too, Mom and told you I love you. Your eldest…Mark Email from Mark June 22, 2013 Dear Mom (Glendora), You surprised me today.  You made it through the night.  When I left last night, it looked like your were ready to leave your body for Heaven. Jennifer spent the day with you today.  Her being there with you helped a lot. You looked much improved today.  Your room felt filled with peace when I walked in. I gave you another eye test with my Kindle.  You could see a little better today — you could see a little black and you thought you could see the word “the”. Love, Mark Emails from Diane and Mark, June 25, 2013 Hi Mark, Just wondering how your mom is doing now?   Is she still in the  hospital or in rehab?  I am praying for her recovery. Blessings, Diane Note from Mark Dear Diane, thank you for your prayers and interest in our mom (Glendora).  Both are deeply appreciated. Mom has been having a difficult time at the Seton Hospital.  She has been hallucinating and making it very difficult for the nurses to attend to her care.  We have been getting late night calls to come to the hospital and help her to calm down.  Family members have been taking turns being with her.  Freddie, Amy and Garrett were there ’til late last night — Jennifer is there today. It is important for mom to rest and sleep to aid in her healing.  For the past few days she was getting very little sleep.  She seems to be resting more now with the help of anti-anxiety medication. The doctors and nurses are doing a great job caring for a very difficult patient.  That’s just our mom — probably a side of herself that she has not shown you.  You get to see her best side — her family sees the other.  It’s like the song with the lyric, “you always hurt the one you love” — and the idea that states, “familiarity breeds contempt.”  Mom is telling everyone the medical staff personnel do not know what they are doing, etc. In response to mom’s expressed distress and accusations against the Seton staff members, I have asked her to simply be a good patient and cooperate with her Seton caregivers committed to providing her excellent surgical recovery care.  I told her that we are entrusting her into the competent care of her medical caregivers who are skilled and know best how to care for her.  I asked her to cooperate with her caregivers and rest and sleep so her body and mind can heal.  Mom fell asleep following our talk two nights ago.  She was asleep when Freddie, Amy and Garrett left last night — and was asleep when I spoke with Jennifer today. Specifically, the medical staff members are working to get her vitals to stabilize well enough to send her to a rehab facility.  Her blood pressure, breathing and oxygen absorption have been their concern. Thank you for your great kindness to our mom and our family…Mark Email from Mark, June 25, 2013 Hi everyone — 11pm — just back from Seton.  Mom asleep with help from anti-anxiety medication.  She is on antibiotics to correct a bowel infection.  There is some fluid on lungs — not pneumonia.  She is off IV fluids and on medication to clear crackling in lungs. Her oxygen absorption was good while I was there — 94 and 95.  Her pulse was in the low 60’s.  Her breathing seemed somewhat labored though steady.  She is on oxygen.  She did cough a little while I was there. Nurse was doing a great job with mom — very attentive and on top of her care. Jennifer spent the day today with mom — that’s amazing Jennifer and helped calm mom a lot according to the nurse I spoke with this evening.  She appreciated you being there to help with mom.  Your presence with mom made a big difference today. Thank you…Mark Email to Ardith Rich July 7, 2013 Dear Ardith, Thank you for your continued support for our mom (Glendora).  She values your friendship immensely.  You have done much to help her.  Your friendship means a lot to mom and our family too. Mom is writing her story with the help of Diane Huff.  Mom is telling her story and Diane is writing it for her.  Together, they are doing a great job of sharing moms life experiences and her perspective on those experiences now.  The story can be read here if you would like to see it www.DearGarrett.com. Thank you…Mark Email to Larry Luckey July 8, 2013 Hi Larry, Thanks for your note re Jeff.  I spoke with him last night — lots of laughing as usual.  Thanks for trying to call him. texting works good when he can’t answer.  I enjoy giving him a sense of connection with his family — he’s physically far away and has experienced significant losses all throughout his lifetime.  Last week he told me he really hated leaving Oregon when he was living with Paul — when mom wanted him to return to living with her and Jimmie in San Jose.  I had not heard that story before.  I was glad that we got him into the Monte Vista School in Watsonville following the move to San Jose.  I was in Vietnam at the time and heard about the school.  Jeff was in the 8th grade in San Jose living in total chaos.  It was important to get him out of the living environment with mom and Jimmie.  I was able to fund his schooling at Monte Vista which I consider one of the great accomplishments of my life.  He spent five years at Monte Vista and graduated from the 12th grade.  Monte Vista was a great place for Jeff to spend those important years. Thank you…Mark Email from Mark July 8, 2013  Hello everyone, Mom (Glendora) moved into the nursing home today. Her address is: Wesleyan at Scenic ATTN: Glendora Luckey Room 37 Georgetown, TX  78626 Her direct room phone number is 512.943.4287 The switchboard number is 512.863.9511 Mom can receive mail and phone calls. Thank you…Mark Email from Mark July 8, 2013 Dear Jennifer, Thank you for helping mom (Glendora) get set up in the Wesleyan Nursing Home today. For the past sixteen years you have done an incredible job looking after our mom.  If you were a soldier you would have been awarded a Distinguished Service Medal for your service.  The military awards those medals for exemplary service in a war zone.  Though it’s not quite a war zone we know that helping mom can be pretty rough at times and a very thankless job. You have served mom well for nearly two decades now.  When you texted me early this morning, it occurred to me to share a biblical passage with you that a friend shared with me several years ago.  After my friend patiently listened to me express the trials of being a dad for two teenage daughters at the same time, he quoted, “Be not weary in well doing.”  Instantly when I heard those words, my heart filled with the faith and hope I would need to raise Amy and Julie until they were grown. Thanks for all your help with mom, Jennifer.  I hope that the words, “Be not weary in well doing” will encourage you as they did me.  You have been doing very well for mom for a long time. Thank you…Mark Email re mom (Glendora) July 12, 2013 Hello everyone — mom’s (Glendora) condition was upgraded this morning by the resident physician at the Wesleyan Nursing Home.  She was declared recovered from pneumonia and has been taken off the antibiotics. I asked the nurse about starting mom using a supplement (ProArginine Plus) which is alleged to help with congestive heart conditions.  She said I would have to check with the nursing home physician.  She said that the doctor is eager to hear of holistic remedies that can help improve a patients health. When I arrived today, Diane Huff was sitting next to Mom reading the Bible to her.  It was a pretty picture.  Mom was asleep while Diane was reading to her. Mom asked us to lay our hands on her and say a prayer.  I laid my hand on mom’s head and Diane help and caressed her check.  Diane said a beautiful prayer and I agreed with her prayer. When I left, Diane stayed.  Mom was obviously comforted by our presence with her. It was an important time with mom…Mark Email re mom (Glendora) July 13, 2013 Hello everyone — mom was doing very well when we arrived to visit her late this afternoon.  There has been a great improvement in her health since she entered the nursing home a few days ago.  She seemed to be basking in all the extra attention she received today with the police and two of the administrators being called to her room. Two administrators and three nurses were attending to her when Carol and I arrived. We were at a birthday celebration for Garrett when we were called.  Mom said there were nail imprints on her right arm from mishandling by a nurse.  The administrator and I looked at her arm — there were no nail marks. The administrator took a full report re mom’s complaint.  He held her hand and told her that he wanted her to be happy during her stay at the Wesleyan and that her well being is his top priority.  He said he would look into her allegations of mishandling.  I spoke to the administrator afterwards — he seemed most sincere and dedicated to providing her with excellent care. Mom’s health has greatly improved since her arrival at the Wesleyan.  I have confidence in the Wesleyan to attend to mom’s care is an exemplary manner.  It appears to be a great caring facility to me. Thank you…Mark Email re Glendora July 14, 2013 Dear family and friends of Glendora, Glendora showed continued and significant signs of recovery today.  When I arrived at the Wesleyan today, she was seated in a dining area for lunch.  She was seated with Gloria and Sylvia in one of the many dining areas in the facility.  There are five tables in the dining area closest to Glendora’s room. The food looked absolutely delicious.  Today’s menu was sliced pork loin, scalloped potatoes, a vegetable medley of corn, carrots and green beans and a yeast roll.  Dessert was Boston Cream Pie.  She ate all of the dessert and wanted more it was so good. Gloria told me that she had started visiting with Glendora yesterday.  She is across the hall in room 38.  She said that she will visit Glendora more often now that they have met. I told mom that I have been seeing a lot of wonderful people in the home with her and that it will be fun making friends with them. The staff treated all the residents very well in the dining area and hall ways while I was there.  There was a lot of laughing and very kind and gracious words shared between the staff and residents.  The dining room service was superb. I spoke with Sally regarding some of the negative reports that have been circulated.  Sally said that checking the smell of a nursing home will tell you a lot about the conditions and operation of the home.  There is none of the “nursing home odor” present at the Wesleyan that I have noticed in all the other nursing homes I have visited.  The home smells great — no offensive or difficult odors to breathe. Glendora was able to read my Kindle today indicating her vision is beginning to improve following her surgery. The experience today at the home was delightful.  Glendora was resting very peacefully when I left. Thank you…Mark “What you see depends on how you see…” Email re Glendora July 18, 2013 Hi Mark; We are wondering if there is an update on your mom? 1. Is she breathing better? +++Yes, doing rehab breathing and otherwise. 2.  Does she go to the dining room to eat? +++Yes, food looks great. 3.  Does she still have a sitter? +++No sitter, she’s alone a lot. 4.  Are people coming to visit her? +++ very few. 5.  Is she taken to the social room for special programs or to get her out of her Rm 37? +++Not sure she is attending them yet. 6.  How is her attitude?  +++very negative when she talks with Laura, Jennifer , Bernadine and me.  Positive when she speaks with Diane Huff and probably you too?  She tells us she is being abused which I do not believe is correct.  I like the facility and staff a lot — it evens smells good unlike most nursing homes. Please give her our deep love and concern.  We and pray that all is going well. Sincerely, Ardith and Rich Wismar Emails re Glendora July 18 and 19, 2013 Here’s an update for everyone July 18, 2013 fron Jennifer: She screamed for me to put her on toilet when we were told not to do so. I told her this but she kept it up so against my better judgment I took her to toilet and told her I was gonna get in trouble. Sure enough, I got in trouble then I was trying to wipe her and she said I was trying to kill her. She started yelling at a nurse and being very rude. Then I took her hands to place them on rails and she wailed about thrashing her arms. Scream THANK YOU JENNIFER FOR BRUISING MY ARM! Out of control. Now this has been documented. Furthermore, the R.N. Medicare Coordinator said a report was made by a black nurse and black CNA that she said all black people should be killed. My mouth dropped wide open. I give up. I know she’s crazy, but I can’t put myself in this anymore. Especially after she outright lied about me bruising her. Jennifer Dear Jennifer, Thanks for the update re our mom (Glendora).  I am placing my confidence and trust in the Wesleyan staff and mom’s medical personnel to know how to best help and care for her.  I am intensely thankful that they are there to help mom at this time.   In most of the aid that I have attempted to help mom with ever since I can remember, mom would simply sabotage whatever efforts I would try to help with.  Trying to help her can be most exasperating, I have found from decades of experience.  The Wesleyan and medical staff are no doubt noticing and experiencing this at this time.  I see them as a great blessing for mom at this apparent difficult time of her life.  Thank you doctors, nurses and Wesleyan staff! Jennifer — thank you for all you do…Mark Email re Glendora July 19, 2013 Mark, If you sent me Ardith’s email, I didn’t get it. I talked to your mom a few minutes ago.   Also talked to the  therapists to check on her schedule.  She had physical therapy this morning and they were extremely pleased with her progress.  I know she has speech therapy this afternoon but did not get a schedule.  I will visit anyway and hopefully at a good time. Blessings, Diane Dear Diane — thank you for checking on mom.  I will be eager to hear how your visit goes today.  Carol made her some cookies which we plan on taking to her later today.   I will resend Ardith’s email address. Thank you…Mark Email re Glendora July 19, 2013 Brian, Thank you for calling to check on mom (Glendora) today.  The time you cared for her at Seton was wonderful and very much appreciated.  She was very comforted by your presence with her. Thank you…Mark PS:  Brian was the Seton nurses aid that was so helpful with mom… [endsection] [section=July 19, 2013 – Visit with Diane at Wesleyan Nursing Home] Visit with Diane at the Wesleyan Nursing Home July 19, 2013 Hi Mark, I found your mom resting in bed this afternoon.   We had a nice  chat before I started to read that book I mentioned to you the other day.  She was interested in what I read and I continued until she had a ‘panic  attack’.   She didn’t want me to call the nurse but insisted on  me helping her sit up on the bed.   Well that didn’t go well and she  really started getting panicky!!!   She kept telling me she could not  breathe.  That freaked me out so I ran out into the hall and told the nurses, we had  an emergency.   Two ran in and I believe a doctor did too.    They determined that she was having the panic attack.   They were so kind and  helpful that in a short time, she calmed down.   She was given a pill  to help her, too.  After they left and she was herself again, she told me she needed to use  the rest room.   This time two nurses came in to help her into that  special device.   Afterwards they were planning on fixing the bed and  giving her dinner.   That is when I left.   She seemed fine  when I did so hopefully you found her in a restful mood this evening. Thanks for Ardith’s email. Have a good weekend. Blessings, Diane Email re Glendora July 20, 2013 Friends and family of Glendora, Carol and I visited with Glendora today.  It was a better day for her though you can tell she is most uncomfortable in her body.  She was eating supper when we arrived.  Carol had an excellent visit with mom while I attended to charging her cell phone and speaking with RN Tarri. Tarri reported that mom had a good day.  Her oxygen was good without supplementation.  It was above 93% all day.  Tarri said last night was difficult but mom became less anxious with the help of anxiety medication. Carol helped mom with her meal — meat loaf with gravy, a baked potato, broccoli, fruited Jello and ensure.  Mom ate a little of the meal and then enjoyed two of Carol’s freshly made chocolate chunk cookies with white milk. I asked Tarri to see if mom can take a supplement (ProArginine Plus) provided by the family that has been found in a study at the High Desert Heart Institute to improve vascular health and congestive heart conditions.  Tarri said she will check with Dr. Shepherd. The ringer was off on mom’s cell phone.  I reset the ringer so she can enjoy receiving your calls.  We set her up to talk with Laura and headed home to put up the sheep and chickens for the evening. Thank you…Mark [endsection] [section=July 23, 2013 – Visit with Diane at Wesleyan Nursing Home] Visit with Diane at Weselyan Nursing Home July 23, 2013  Hi Mark, Just wanted to tell you that I visited your mom this afternoon. I discovered that she had been moved to a new room.  There was a man in the room fixing the air conditioner whichhe completed rather quickly.  The room was quite cool after he left. Glendora slept most of the time I was there.  We had brief  conversations and I did read some of that book to her.   For awhile she was  listening carefully and making comments but then I would find that she had  fallen asleep.  This went on for most of the time I was there.   I  stayed until dinner time.  Whenever she was awake, she lamented that she didn’t know what was happening to her and why she was so tired. Bernadine did call while I was there and I was happy to answer and give the phone to Glendora.  Do you have any more news from the doctor on her condition? Keeping you all in my prayers, Diane Hospital report re Glendora July 25, 2013 Hello Everyone, Glendora was taken to the Seton Williamson today.  Jennifer is there with her as this email report is being written.  Jennifer sent the following report re her current condition. “Oxygen stats were low for awhile.  Enlarged heart.  Two heart valves moderately blocking blood flow — one valve is severe.  Left ventricle working at 40 to 45%.  Shrinkage of brain indicating some dementia.  No stroke.” Thank you, Jennifer for being with mom and for this report…Mark Updates re Glendora July 26, 2013 Hello Everyone: Bernadine sent a couple of updates re Glendora today July 26, 2013: Morning report:  “She is out of control — hit the nurse — tried to bite her and me.  I had to assist in a surgical procedure.  Mom keeps breaking out of restraints — pulling off oxygen mask — tried to pull out urinary catheter.” Evening report:  “Changed to liquid diet.  May be moved upstairs from ICU later.  Her brain has shrunk significantly re dementia.  Very combative — just screamed at Jennifer and tried to bite her.  It looks like to Wesleyan Nursing Home does not want her back — too difficult to handle.  The doctor just left, said she looks better than yesterday but has heart failure.” Thank you for the updates, Bernadine — and for being there with mom — and Jennifer too…Mark [endsection] [section=July 27, 2013 – Insight from Freddie] Insight from Freddie re Glendora July 27, 2013 Dear Family and friends of Glendora: Freddie called last night.  She said that the reports I was emailing out re Glendora were very negative and making it sound like she (Glendora) was a bad person.  I told Freddie that people were asking me how mom was doing and that I was simply sending out the reports that were being sent to me. Freddie told me about a condition called Sundowner’s Syndrome so I looked it up on Google and found this article — see below.  Freddie said her mother had it during her last days on our planet.  Freddie pointed out that people develop difficult to handle behavior when they are preparing to leave their bodies.  Freddie’s words pointed out that it is helpful to understand the behavior and simply overlook it and deal with it in the safest manner possible. Freddie checked on mom two days ago at the nursing home and rubbed her arms and back.  She said mom was calling out for Jeff and saying some other things which I can’t recall.  Freddie is probably the kindest person I have know.  She has always been super good with mom and has been there and helped her through many difficult places in life. Thank you…Mark See re Sundowner’s below…  Symptoms People with Sundowner’s Syndrome can exhibit any number of symptoms. Of course, the key is that the symptoms occur in the late afternoon or evening, or in the case of someone with more severe dementia, the symptoms worsen at night. These symptoms, which are also symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease and other types of dementia, These symptoms can be dangerous, both for the person with the Syndrome and for anyone around them. You may find that your loved one is suddenly seeing angels in the room or believes you have stolen something. They may not recognize you or become terrified at the thought of your leaving even for a moment. The behavior is illogical and irrational, but bear in mind that someone with Sundowner’s cannot control these behaviors. Wandering is especially dangerous because the person with Sundowner’s will suddenly be missing and may not know where he or she is going or why. Without identification, people with the Syndrome have become lost and unable to find their way back home.

• Rapid mood changes
• Anger
• Crying
• Agitation
• Pacing
• Fear
• Depression
• Stubbornness
• Restlessness
• Rocking 

The most difficult symptoms to deal with are:

• Hallucinations
• Hiding Things
• Paranoia
• Violence
• Wandering 

People with Sundowner’s Syndrome may also “shadow” you, following you around and doing everything you do. They might ask you questions over and over or interrupt you when you’re speaking to someone else. They may lose their full language abilities, and abstract thoughts may become especially difficult for them to comprehend. Keep in mind that if someone has a paranoid or hallucinatory episode, there’s no point in trying to convince them they’re wrong. It simply won’t work, and they will most likely not remember the episode in the morning. [endsection] [section=July 27, 2013 – Mom went to Heaven Tonight at 7:10] Dear Family and friends of Glendora: Mom went to Heaven tonight at 7:10.  I arrived at the hospital about 25 minutes prior to her passing.  Freddie had spent the day with her today.  Jennifer was to spend the day with her tomorrow.  Turns were being taken checking on mom and spending time with her. Freddie said mom slept most of the day — that it was a peaceful day unlike the previous ones.  Freddie read to her throughout the day. Mom stirred from sleeping when I entered the room.  The room was very peaceful.  Freddie got up to comfort mom and holding her hand told her, “Mark is here.”  Mom called my name a few times and fell asleep again.  I moved a chair next to her bed and held her hand.  She seemed told hold mine back. Freddie left to go to the rest room.  I sat there with mom watching her breathing as she slept.  When Freddie came back into the room, mom stirred awake and asked for some water.  She dosed off again as Freddie picked up the water — then as I was holding her hand while Freddie reached to give her the water, moms eyes opened and she left her body.  Her passing happened in an instant.  I told Freddie, “She’s passed, she’s on her way to Heaven.”  Freddie and I cried. Mom’s passing was very quick and peaceful.  One moment she was in her body and a next moment she had left.  As she left I imagined how excited and free she must be feeling leaving a body that had provided her with much discomfort for many years. I’ve heard it said that transitioning is like taking off a tight fitting shoe.  I trust that that is how it is and that it’s a great relief and a peaceful and exciting experience to become set free from the body. Mom has demonstrated incredible courage throughout her life and she demonstrated it throughout these final days and this evening too as she departed her body and went to a place of intense healing, safety, comfort, bliss and happiness. We love you Mom… Email re Glendora July 28, 2013 “Mark — You came in ‘first’ with Mom, and you were there when she left…Jennifer” Dear Jennifer, thank you, I did arrive just in time.  It was a holy experience to hold Mom’s hand for her last 25 minutes on our planet and as she departed for her new home in Heaven. I had picked up a sandwich for Freddie.  She had spent the day with Mom and I figured she would spend the night too until you arrived in the morning. Mom was the first to hold my hand and I was the last to hold her’s.  During those 25 minutes, she showed us the courage to transition from this life to the next after showing us a lifetime of courage and strength to live and function through many difficult circumstances.  She is an amazingly courageous and strong woman.  Her faith and dependence on God was rentlentless.  She maintained her zeal for life through every situation and experience that came her way. Thank you…Mark Email re Glendora July 28, 2013 Mark, Your beautifully written words showed a deep love and concern for your  mom.  I awoke during the night thinking of Glendora and the wonderful time she  must be having in Heaven.   During one of our talks, she told me about  her  newly born baby who died mysteriously in the hospital.  How exciting to know  that they are once again reunited.   She loved all her children so very much  and was always concerned for their well being.  May she rest in peace!   I know I  shall miss her and our times together. God’s blessings, Dear Diane, Thank you, Diane.  Thank you for writing Mom’s stories.  I hadn’t thought about Mom’s baby — the girl born in Seguin, Texas.  I know she always wondered about the baby and what happened to her,  Yes, now she knows.  Mom named her Zion. Thank you…Mark [endsection] [section=Visitation and burial announcement for Glendora] Visitation and burial announcement for Glendora Hello Everyone, The visitation for Glendora has been scheduled for Thursday, August 1, 2013 from 5 to 7pm. It will be held at: Ramsey Funeral Home 5600 Williams Drive Georgetown, TX  78633 Phone:  512.869.7775 Sandwiches and cookies will be served at the visitation. Glendora’s family is looking forward to seeing you if you are able to attend. Thank you…Mark PS:  Burial will be Friday morning at 10am at the IOOF (International Order of Odd Fellows) Cemetery in Georgetown, Texas. There will not be a graveside service.  The family will attend the placement of Mom’s body in the grave. [endsection] [section=July 27, 2013 – Glendora Obituary] Glendora obituary July 27, 2013 Glendora Luckey

• BORN: August 14, 1924
• DIED: July 27, 2013
• LOCATION: Georgetown, Texas

Glendora Schmitt Luckey, age 88, of Georgetown, Texas passed away on Saturday, July 27, 2013 in Round Rock. She was born on August 14, 1924 in Detroit, Michigan and was the daughter of Henry Charles and Mattie (Allen) Schmitt. Glendora attended Gavalin College in Hollister, California where she received her degree in nursing as an LVN. She worked as a nurse with the Texas Health Department in Lampasas, Texas and Burnet, Texas retiring in 1991. She was preceded in death by her first husband, Jack Wilson; second husband, Jimmie Luckey; daughter, Zion Wilson; and her granddaughter, Wendy Wilson. To cherish her memory, Glendora leaves behind her sons: Mark Wilson of Georgetown, Texas, Harvey Wilson of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Paul Wilson of Walker, Louisiana and Jeff Wilson of Honolulu, Hawaii; daughters: Laura Stout of Salinas, California, Bernadine Luckey of Cedar Creek, Texas and Jennifer Luckey of Round Rock, Texas; caring daughter-in-law, Freddie Wilson of Round Rock, Texas; two stepdaughters: Janet Kolke and Linda Luckey; stepson, Larry Luckey; as well as 18 grandchildren, 17 great-grandchildren and 2 great-great-grandchildren. A time of visitation for family and friends will be held on Thursday, August 1, 2013 from 5:00-7:00 pm at Ramsey Funeral Home in Georgetown, Texas. You may share a message or memory in the memorial guestbook at www.RamseyFuneral.com. Email from Brian Humason re Glendora August 3, 2013 Dear Mark: I heard about your mom’s passing on Laura’s post on FB. I wrote a condolence note to her. She’s probably been too otherwise occupied to even see it yet. Her posts come to my email along with several other’s posts. I didn’t set that up, it just started happening all by itself, a couple of years ago. My son Shane, who knows his way around FB, even got into my account and said that he had changed that feature, but I still get them anyway. In this case I’m glad that I did. I have waited a little while to write this to you, because you are probably still really busy. I just want to say again to you what I have said to you in years past. She was special. I was always aware of this, and I always knew that she liked me. No telling why, but she did. I hope that she knew that I liked her too. My mom passed about four years ago. My dad three years before that. When we are lucky enough, we live long enough to see our folks all go home. Considering the alternative, I’ll take the gift and curse. You and I have come really close to not being here. Not a day goes by that I am not absolutely amazed to still be here. I’m living proof that God has a sense of humor. Even Lawrence of Arabia didn’t make it into his silver years. He was killed on a moped! You hang in there my friend. When you are ready, gimme a call or drop me a note. I’ll be here. (probably LOL). Inventory and give thanksgiving to the positive. For me the biggie, along those lines, is awesome gifts we have had in some of the incredible people that we were blessed to know personally in this life. Hunter/warrior brother love, always    ~    Brian Humason [endsection] [section=Why are you writing Dear Glendora?] Why are you writing “Dear Glendora?” Dear Russ — your question today was an interesting one to hear.  “Why am I writing Dear Glendora?”  It’s still got me thinking about why also. It will be fun searching for all the reasons to adequately answer your question.  The reasons are probably more unconscious than conscious.  Here are some of the answers that I am finding. *** The incredible experience of attempting to be a good son for my mom these past 66 years has been a great challenge for me.  Writing about it seems like a healthy way to debrief on those years. *** It has been said that “Everything in the world is in a book.”  Moms life may have helped define some additional “everything’s to be written about.  I will continue to ask my siblings to write about some of these experiences — some of which to date may not have been recorded in other books — at least in form not content. *** “We read to know we’re not alone” as I mentioned in our visit today. *** There’s a lot of energy remaining from experiencing a lifetime of living with our mom.  Writing seems to be a good way to expend said energy accumulated throughout our lifetimes together. *** The words, “Make sense of this” come to me.  Writing Dear Glendora feels like a good way to process and attempt to make sense of the incredible lifetime experiences we made it through together.  Notice the words, “Made it through…”  Mom and “us kids” did make it through some amazing experiences together — many of them very dangerous and scary — but we “made it through” all those times.  Very remarkable indeed. ***In the Course I like to study Jesus is quoted saying, “There is nothing outside you, this is what you must ultimately learn.”  This is a profound thought to me.  It helps me to see mom in a positive versus negative light. *** Forgiveness.  It is my belief that the foundation of forgiveness is understanding.  When we can see and understand people and things the way God sees and understands it relieves us of the burden of condemnation and unloving/malignant judgments.  Mom was an excellent study in forgiveness providing us with exceptional and daily opportunities to forgive. *** Healing — to forgive is to heal.  And we all like healing, right?  The purpose of this book, “Dear Glendora” is to effect healing through perception and understanding — and that’s true perception which corresponds with God’s knowledge — not the perception of the ego which is false perception and results in grievances and unforgiveness. *** Decision making.  I teach our students in aviation that we learn from doing things right as well as from doing things wrong.  There’s a book I used to read to my children when they were young.  It was entitled, “We learn manners from those that have none.”  Mom helped us to see how not to live more than how to live.  This is not a grievance against mom but rather simply how it was — a lifetime of great lessons of how not to live ones life.  My greatest challenge has always been in knowing how to and feeling comfortable living what some people would call a normal life.  Freddie, Amy and Garrett can attest to this. *** Some people believe that we are actually involved in choosing our parents before we arrive here (on Earth).  First we choose what we want to learn in a given lifetime…and then the best parents available are selected to accomplish said learning.  Maybe that’s what Psalm 139 is referring to when it says’ “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”?  If this is true, it could be concluded that Glendora was the perfect mom to help me and my siblings through the curriculum each of us had chosen before we arrived here on this planet.  Interesting perspective, huh? Russ — I may come up with some other answers to your great and important question — but here’s a good start to letting you know my motivation and interest in writing Dear Glendora. Thanks for all you and Diane have done for my mom and family…Mark [endsection] [section=Twelve Step Programs] Regarding Twelve Step Programs August 6, 2013 Our Mom (Glendora) suffered through the hard task master of alcoholism until it sent her to prison for ten years.  When she passed, she was on parole.  I like the Twelve Step Programs — there’s over 300 of them.  They all use the same twelve steps.  The Twelve Steps are simply basic guidelines for living a healthy, happy life.  Two of the programs are Alcoholics Anonymous and ALANON.  ALANON is for the family and friends of an alcoholic.  I attended ALANON for six years — it helped me a lot.  The Twelve Steps are great.  When they are followed on a daily basis, a persons life does take a turn for the better.  Try one or both of these programs and see how you like them.  Here is a good thought for today… Today’s thought from Hazelden is: An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan. –Laurence Peter None of us woke up one morning and found we had suddenly turned into an addict. We got to be one by practice. And we practiced often. We ignored our families – we left work early – and went drinking and drugging. Daily, we chose chemicals over anything else. Likewise, getting sober is no accident. We use the Steps. We work the program. At meetings, we’re reminded to help others. We all get sober on the installment plan. A day at a time. We got sick one day at a time; we recover one day at a time. Prayer for the Day Today, with my Higher Power’s help, I’ll be happier, more honest, more sober. Sobriety is like a good savings account. Higher Power, help me to put in more than I take out. [endsection]