Dear Garrett..

November 2013

Dear Charlene, Regarding your writing in Today’s Touchstone referencing words by Melody Beattie that say, “Sometimes, there’s more pain than we asked for; sometimes, there’s more joy than we imagined.”It’s probably safe to say that, “Pain most often precedes joy.” I enjoy reading Melody’s writings a lot. Her words regarding “Pain” are wise and important and helpful for me to remember.A Course in Miracles helps me see how pain functions in our lives. It offers these words to explain:”5 Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limit. 6 Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however dimly, that there must be a better way. 7 As this recognition becomes more firmly established, it becomes a turning point. 8 This ultimately reawakens spiritual vision, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight.”

I can hear Melody saying, “Amen” to this one!

I have certainly hit my turning points by way of pain — my Dad’s passing when I was age twelve — loss of a crew member in Vietnam — loss of a girl friend — seeing my children in pain. These were my biggest turning points. They all redirected my life ultimately “turning” it in better directions.

Thank you for all you do…Mark

Whenever I perceive need for change in a brother, I can do it best by changing me.  When I change, he will change too.  When I change (heal) on the inside, it effects change (healing) in everyone else.  It works like this because we are all connected. God has one Son made up of many persons — it’s called the Body of Christ.  Jesus is the head — and we make up the rest of the body.  It’s why Jesus reminded us, “When I am healed, I am not healed alone.”  It’s works this way too because I only have permission to change myself — not anyone else — but when I change, others change too.

November 18, 2013Dear Garrett,A friend of mine is experiencing a difficult trial at this time. I have written to him regarding the word “Deploy”. That one word has helped me to get through the most difficult periods of my life. This includes things that you and I have experienced together as well as my last 100+ missions in Vietnam which were my most difficult due to the loss of my crew member, Captain Robert Thomas Wilson.Every trial has a beginning and an end. Each trial has a specific purpose too. Our job is to accept them and pass through them while we go about our daily lives. Our lives and character are enriched as we pass through trials.

Trials make us more “Fit for service” among many other things when we make it through them. Trials are heavily trying as we pass through them. Trials produce significant rewards when we are willing to endure them. Looking back on the successful completion of a trial will make its rewards clear and easier to see. While in a trial it’s difficult to see where a trial is taking us. But when a trial ends — and after some time has passed it becomes easier to see its purpose and effects.

Garrett, you and I have made it through our share of trials together. I have always admired you courage you have demonstrated through each one.

Dad

Garrett — email to my friend…

November 2013

Dear Shannon,

My Miracles Course states, “Only your thoughts can cause you pain…” As you pass through this difficult period, practice holding some healthy thoughts in your mind. There are lots of positive things to think about. Staying busy with work has always helped me.

This helps me too, “No matter what happens, behave as if nothing happened.” I apply this in my life frequently for stability purposes.

I like the word “Deploy” a lot. No matter how I feel on a given day, I wake up, look around to decide on what I need to do and can do that day, then I set about doing it — I deploy. I ALWAYS feel better at the end of a day when I have deployed and accomplished something useful.

My willingness to deploy on a daily basis (One day at a time — and even a few minutes at a time) has gotten me through many difficult periods in my life.

More later…Mark

On Letting Go...

November 17, 2013Dear Garrett,This a short discourse on the subject of, “Letting Go”. We all acquire the opportunity to let go of certain things and people (relationships) from time to time. It’s not usually the easiest thing to do though it is always the best thing to do.In the email below, a friend on mine is in the process of saying goodbye to a another person, in this case a girl friend. I have had to do this same thing too so I know how hard it can be. Also also had to say goodbye to a crew member in Vietnam which was every bit as hard and probably harder.

As a result of my talks with Shannon — and also my other friend, Tim, I have felt some heavy releasing occuring in my life. I sent Shannon this email this text this morning:

“Shannon, I can feel our talks empowering me to let go of my final grips of some things in my life including the loss of my crew member in Vietnam. Thank you for your help…Mark”

With Shannon’s help — and Tim’s too — I have been able to see how limiting and destructive holding on to things and persons can be when they have moved elsewhere with their own lives.

I will post this writing on www.DearGarrett.com for you to see and maybe use someday if and when you need it.

Dad

Here is my email to my friend, Shannon...

Dear Shannon,

My ALANON Sponsor gave me a helpful technique suggestion several years ago when I was experiencing my own perceived hardships and losses. I told Jimmy that my pain was intense to the extent of feeling unbearable.

Jimmy coached me to accept the pain rather than resist it — that resisting the pain would keep it lingering in my life longer whereas accepting it would allow it to pass through me and out of my life.

When Jimmy told me this, I laid down on the floor in my living room and told God that I would accept this pain and situation in my life. As I did this and accepted rather than resisting the perceived losses with the pain that came with them I felt a shifting and a sense of movement of the of the pain and acceptance of the perceived losses as they passed through me.

I see the pain as a feature of our being that helps us to release attachments to things or relationships that have become unhealthy for us to retain in our lives. It’s like taking a toy away from a little child when a parent knows that the toy can be harmful for the child to possess. A child may cry for a bit, but it quickly turns to something else to keep itself occupied soon forgetting about the removal of said toy, etc.

It’s nice when we can act like a child when we experience our losses. It’s why the virtue of “acceptance” vibrates at the high energy level of 350. It’s simply a matter of trusting that all will be well when we let go of things into the capable and loving hands of God. I like the Miracles Course passage that says, “Trust would settle every problem now.”

In twelve step programs they say, “When you surrender you win.” I have seen this work. When I first heard this, I thought that when I surrender, I would lose. When I got to where I did surrender, I did lose but realized that I only lost that which was toxic to my life and not serving me and/or the other party well. I did not lose that which was healthy and good for me to keep. And when I did lose, I noticed the vacuum within me made by the letting go immediately made room for other healthier things and people to move into my life for which I am thankful today. They say that nature does not tolerate a vacuum which I have found to be true. Vacuums in our lives get filled with something and we want that something to be good. That’s when pain goes away.

I will enjoy seeing how things shape up in our lives as we both learn to more efficiently let go of those things and persons who choose to move on to other places and persons with their lives which is their sacred and sovereign right and privilege. As they move on we can best respect and honor them by moving on also with our lives to the new persons and things God has in store for our lives as well.

My Miracles Course states this which I find helpful, “I place the future in the hands of God.” It also says, “I rest in God” which helps me a lot. Another one like is, “Let all things be exactly as they are.”

More later…Mark

Dear Garrett,

My step-brother, Larry, and I are having a good talk about the topic of love and what it actually looks like bearing in mind that there appears to be a great lack of it in our world today.  Of course there’s plenty of love here too — it’s just not publicized as well as that which is loving.

 cherie carter-scott’s rules of life (‘Rules for Being Human’)

Dear Charlene — thanks for another Touchstone — today’s posting is regarding love.What do we think? Can we say that all love in the end results in self love — the ability to love one’s self — that we learn to love ourselves by learning to love others?A Course in Miracles has an interesting passage which took me awhile to figure out — not that I have it completely figured out — maybe a little?Here’s the passage:

“There is nothing outside you, that is what you must ultimately learn.”

Thank you…Mark

“If you want more love, give more love to yourself.”

~ Debbie Ford

Let’s nurture loving in all areas of our lives today by first embracing ourselves.

With kindness and compassion,
Charlene

COMPASSION: May you be gentle with yourself and others. May you forgive those who hurt you and yourself when you make mistakes. ( -The Twelve Gifts of Birth)

The Two Arenas

May 5, 2013Dear Garrett,I enjoyed a visit with two good friends this week — with Tom, who we’ve known for a long time, and another new friend. During our time together, we discussed our world with its current and apparant distressful conditions. With all the bad news presented by the media, things can sound pretty scary can’t they? Actually, I can’t think of a time, here on Earth, throughout its recorded history, when it didn’t sound scary.  There is a reason this is so — we can talk about it later.Following our visit, I thought about our discussion a lot. I searched inside for some answers regarding how to handle the onslaught of bad news that’s broadcast all day and every day throughout our world. As I searched, I began to see our world as consisting of two primary or basic arenas.

It occurred to me that, while here on Earth, we choose what could be called “an arena” (one of the two available) in which we prefer to operate. An arena is an area or space in which an activity or an endeavor is conducted.

I see the two basic arenas to look and operate like this. One is an arena where the thought system of the ego prevails – the other is the arena where the thought system of Spirit prevails — by Spirit we mean God’s Holy Spirit. The ego I refer to here is what some would term “adverse ego” – not an ego in an otherwise healthy and understood sense.  The term ego in the context being used here simply means the mistaken fear based thought system available for use by people.  It’s the one that Eve and Adam acquired in the garden when they chose to believe the serpent over God recorded in the third chapter of Genesis.

In the ego arena, attempts are made to operate apart from God. Ego in this arena means to ease god out (thus the term “adverse ego”).  In the Spirit arena, God is included in all our thoughts and all that happens in our lives. The ego arena is where all fear exists and operates – the Spirit arena is where love operates. The ego arena is filled with unloving thoughts. The ego arena is where hell is experienced. The arena of Spirit is where loving thoughts prevail and we experience Heaven.

In the ego arena fear seems real — but it is not real. Fear is only an illusion.  Only love is real. The fear that the ego shows us is not really how things are. What Spirit shows us is true because God’s thoughts are true. Remember that God has not given us a Spirit of fear? Fear can only last for moments whereas love lasts forever. Being temporary anything fearful is not real – being eternal makes love real. God likes us to think His loving thoughts — true thoughts — not the ego’s unloving thoughts.  I like this passage from scripture?

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—
think about such things.

While on Earth, where we spend our time is optional. We can live in an arena of hell – or we can live in an arena of Heaven. The choice is ours. Which one we choose will be easy to see. When we feel afraid, we will have chosen hell. When we feel peace, we will have chosen Heaven. Which place we choose is determined by our thoughts. Thinking loving thoughts followed by their actions will make us happy – thinking ego thoughts will make us afraid. It is written in one place, “When you are afraid, you are deceived.”  We could say that anytime we are happy we ARE in Heaven.

When you were young I memorized this scripture and recited it to you daily. I like it a lot and know it is still with you.

Psalm 139:17-18 (NIV)

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God !
How vast is the sum of them! ¹⁸Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.

You know, the Lord’s Prayer begins with, “Our Farther, who art in Heaven…” How can our God be in Heaven if he is upset with everything that’s occurring on our planet? We are told there is nothing upsetting in or about Heaven.   Have you ever thought that God is everywhere – yet being everywhere He remains in Heaven which the Prayer declares? I like this other passage in Psalm 139 which I also memorized and quoted to you daily. Here’s the passage:

Psalm 139: 7-12 (NIV)

⁷“Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around me,”

¹²even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”

Please note David wrote that “if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”  So God is everywhere — even in the depths — and dark places too, yet He remains in Heaven.  He remains in Heaven because His thoughts are the thoughts of Heaven — He does not think the thoughts of hell — fearful thoughts like a lot of people do.  I like the part also that says, “even the darkness will not be dark to you;  the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”  I’m glad God sees through darkness.  What appears dark to me is not dark to God.  I believe this is because God sees the plan of salvation working out in everyone and everything no matter what it looks like to us on a limited human level.It is my belief that we can be in Heaven wherever we are – including here on Earth. I do not think that God wants us to be afraid or upset about what is occurring on our planet. God is on Earth too yet He is in Heaven. What puts one in Heaven (like God) or hell is ones thoughts — not any specific geographic location here on Earth or elsewhere. God is everywhere – and He is in Heaven wherever He is. It is my belief that we can be too when we hold God’s thoughts in our minds as expressed in the Psalm 139: 17 and 18 passage shown above. Elsewhere it is written, “Only your thoughts can cause you pain…” And there is no pain in Heaven, correct?Garrett, let’s let God’s thoughts prevail in our minds. When we do so, we can be the happiest. It’s good to remember also as we view our sometimes scary looking world today, that evil will exist only until it is replaced by good. Let’s remember also that love always trumps evil. And as we see the evil in our world today we can live our lives differently by not thinking the same fearful and unloving thoughts others in the world are thinking. We can do well by thinking only loving thoughts and letting them prevail in our minds. And as we think said loving thoughts, we can remind ourselves to “Be not weary in well doing” as we continue to think God’s thoughts.There’s more to be understood about why we are not ever to worry or be upset regardless how scary things may look. There are cosmic and universal laws at work which serve only to lead individuals, nations and civilizations back to Heaven when we choose to think and operate apart from God by joining with ego in place of God. It’s what Adam and Eve worked out in the garden with the serpent in Genesis 3, remember? The serpent represents the ego (what some people call the devil). Joining with the ego always results in fear, pain and confusion, etc.

By the way, pain is not really a bad thing. Pain’s purpose is diagnostic. Pain always points to something out of integrity. When we are afraid there is pain. Pain is a product of fear. When there is pain, our job becomes to look around and search for the cause of said pain. Yes, and there is much pain in our world today.

The second law to thermodynamics helps me understand how this all works. It’s the law of chaos. It states that “Left alone, everything resorts to disorder.” When mankind on any level, individually or collectively, as a nation chooses to separate from its source (God), things get messy. It gets messy because everything is designed by its creating source to remain connected with said source and thereby receive its Life Force. In our world, everything does remain connected with said source because it’s impossible to separate from God being the creating source and the provider of Life Force for all that exists.  Though it’s impossible to truly disconnect from God, it is possible for one to think that said separation is possible.  It is possible to separate from God in ones conscious mind for a little while perhaps via a refusal to commune with God.  There is a part of everyone’s mind that remains in communion with God whether a person is aware of it or not.  This part of the mind is called your Holy Mind.  It is the part of your mind in which Truth abides.  God placed it there Himself and it remains in ones mind forever.  It is also the part of ones mind that beckons one back to God whenever one leaves — or rather tries to leave.

We are a part of God.  God will never abandon the part of Himself that is us no matter how hard we try to separate from or ignore Him.  It’s like Hal Moore said in the film, “We Were Soldiers” when he told his troops and their families, “I will leave no one behind.”  God is like that too.  And He has put Jesus in charge of bringing us all home eventually.  It’s why he is called our “Great Shepherd.”  The presence of God in each person to simply to strong to resist forever.  Eventually, everyone will come home to God.  In the meantime we can simply rest and trust in the capable hands of the One entrusted with this great and sure task.  I like how our Great Shepherd goes after it’s lost sheep.

Yes, we do see a lot of lost sheep in our world today.  That’s why we come here in the first place — to be found.  And when we become found enough, we don’t have to come here any more.  I like how our Great Shepherd is able to find even the most lost of us.

Also, in the meantime, while the plan of salvation is transacting — playing itself out, Psalm 112 tells us how to handle all the bad news that is simply a part of said plan of salvation.

⁷ They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;

I enjoyed my visit with my friends — more later…

Love always, Dad