Dear Garrett..

Dear Garrett,July 15, 2012 

Happy Birthday, my Son!  Today you have become the grand age of 21!  This is a milestone!  To date you have experienced and successfully handled many hurdles to reach this point.  During these first 21 years, you have grown a lot.  You have made it successfully through your childhood.  You are now “officially” a man!  How’s that pronouncement feel?

Many things have occurred in your life to bring you to this age and this level of maturity.  You have accomplished many great feats and you have successfully and courageously endured some intense hardships.  I have always admired your courage first hand as I have been there with you and have gone through everything you have encountered along your life’s path to date.

It is important to understand that “Success begets success”.  In my opinion, your greatest success has been to have endured the hardships you have experienced to date with such courage.  Please keep this in mind as you endure additional hardships from time to time as you continue your present life on Earth. 

Also, please remember that you will ALWAYS have ample help and support to make it through any trial or accomplishment you may experience.  Your Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit — plus your many angels are always there with you and for you — never against you.  And you have me and Mom and your Amy too and your other family members — the Swensen’s, McGuire’s and Watson’s — and extended family members and friends as well.  It takes a tribe to raise a child, remember?  With all this support available, you can handle anything!  Just let us know whenever you need some help with ANYTHING — remember how you like to help others?

To begin your 21st birthday celebration, I would like to list some of the many successes you have accomplished in your lifetime to date.  I can remember most of them since I was with you when you succeeded in said accomplishments:

I remember when you made the 3 pointer at the buzzer.  I watched as the opposing coach turned in amazement — and I saw Mr. Menke actually smile for the first time!

I remember when you caught the football at Zion with your foot on the boundry line as it was hurling out of bounds — another Mr. Menke smile!

I remember when you learned to ice skate, later becoming one of the top ice skaters in Austin.  It took me the first two years to coax you off the wall.  When you hit 16, you really took off!  I think our lesson with the college student hockey coach in Minnesota really helped, didn’t it?

I remember the two years you were the Skate Guard at Chaparral Ice — and how you looked after everyone to ensure they were safe on the ice — and how you would attend to any skater in distress with incredible composure and competency — and how you interacted with the skaters including the young kids you would spray ice on and chase after them when they would steal your ball cap.  I noticed that when you were on the ice, one’s race or ethnic origin did not seem to make a difference — you treated all the kids well and with respect — it looked like you were actually having fun with them!

I remember your hockey games.  You were a plenty rough guy!  I liked how you could out skate other players — and how you would conserve your energy for opportune moments at which time you would burst out with incredible speed and strength to get the job done.

I remember how you would fly the Simulator at the two biggest airshows in America — Oshkosh in Wisconsin and Sun and Fun in Florida when you were ages 16 and 17.  Calvin would brag on you — he said you were the best person they’d ever hired when it came to hosting the ELITE Flight Simulation booth.  They paid you $100 a day to fly their Simulator — exceptional pay for a 16 year old!  And you’d fly back and forth to Orlando on Southwest Airlines in total comfort and confidence.  You commuted to your job in Florida — how cool is that?

I remember when you graduated from High School.  You graduated Salutatorian — how did you do that!?  I barely graduated with a 1.6 or maybe .8 GPA — you graduated with a 4.1!  And you graduated four months ahead of your former classmates — how does that happen? And you were National Honor Society too!

Happy Birthday, my Son (and Grandson too)! For the past 21 years it has been my great honor to fulfill the sacred responsibility and privilege of being your Dad. It is my opinion that God saw that it would be good to join us together in these roles, Father and Son, with each other. I am most glad He saw fit to do so. I consider being your Dad the highest calling and greatest growth process of my lifetime.

I have told friends often that being your Dad has taught me more about God above all else that I have encountered and experienced in life. What I have learned most of all from being your Dad is how much God loves me — and how delighted He continually is with me – and how He is constantly with me and always for me. And He is and does all this even when I make mistakes! Your first soccer coach, Coach Henry was like this, remember? No matter what you did, right or wrong, Coach Henry was always and tirelessly cheering you on – he never wasted any time pointing out or belaboring a mistake – it was like he didn’t even notice if and when one was made – he was too busy moving the players forward to spend any time looking back! I think God is exactly that way too.

During our time together as Father and Son, we have shared in great successes.  As with all parents and kids, we have both made our share of what some people would call mistakes too. Through any mistakes you may have made over the past years, my love, delight and care for you has never wavered or failed in any way. If or when you made a mistake, I simply came to your side to be with you, protect you, pick you up, put my arm around you and get you going again, remember?  I have never felt the least particle of condemnation for anything that you think may have happened but only love, delight and support. I think God is that way with all of us too.

Someone said that God does not forgive  — because he does not condemn to begin with — that to forgive, you must first have condemnation. I now understand what that means as I have never felt any condemnation for anything towards my Son. I learned how God feels about me by experiencing how I have felt and feel about you.  I like how Jesus treated the woman in John 8 when the Scribes and Pharasees wanted to stone her.  Remember how I taught you that when you do make a mistake, you can’t hate yourself better, you have to love yourself better.  I will tell you about my Vietnam experience in another section entitled “The Package”.  When I was younger, I didn’t know how to love myself better.  Somewhere along the way, I learned to hate myself when something went wrong.  When my crewmember died physically, I died emotionally.  It took me actually decades to learn to love myself better following that most difficult experience.

You are now 21 at which time the law of our great nation says you’re fully a man and have become completely responsible for your life. So now as your Dad, I pronounce this full blessing of manhood on you my Son, Garrett. I now recognize you as a young man fully capable of managing your life in the way you deem most fitting and proper.

I like the poem written below by The Prophet Kahlil Gibran entitled “On Children”. In the poem, Kahlil refers to children as arrows and parents as bows. We know how much you like archery and that you are good at the ancient skill. At this age of 21, you (the arrow) have left me (the bow). With all that I have had to offer you as a dad you are now sent soaring into life to go where ever you desire. It is with my blessing and recognition that I release you into this great life to eagerly await and see which directions you choose to pursue with all the beautiful gifts, talents and energy you possess.

As you venture out, look at this website from time to time to see what I have found to share with you that I think you may enjoy and find helpful. I have established this website for you and me and maybe some others to enjoy also. Your website is www.DearGarrett.com .

Please keep in mind, Garrett, I an a little older than you which means that I may have learned a thing or two along the way that you may find helpful from time to time as you journey along your life’s path. I’m always eager to be of support and encouragement to my only Son – please let me know whenever I can be of some help. I’m glad that I was able to be your Dad and I’m glad that I’ll be your Dad always.

Love always, Garrett…Dad 

On Children Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.